Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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