Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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