i think i have herpe
just one?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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