i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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