I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize