Swine flu is the new snow day.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His hands were made for my vagina.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
