Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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