smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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