Sponge bath it is.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
