How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
