I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we made out on top of his cat.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
