Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
