Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize