I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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