I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
