conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
