You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
