If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
