Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
