i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
