Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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