Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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