Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
