Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
