found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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