So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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