who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
bring money and cleavage
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
