At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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