So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
