Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize