I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
