I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it because I queefed?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
