I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
