Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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