i just wanna soil my oats bro
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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