my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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