what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
