So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he fucked my hip out of place.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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