I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
