hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
