he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We are two peas in an std pod
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
