I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize