Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
