I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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