i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
