i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize