If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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