Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
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