Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
