Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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