I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
