The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
