my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
