3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
