Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize