Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
