hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
