Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
