I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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