I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
