Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
