So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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