There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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