There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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